Once, I had a friend.
We were very close, everyone knew we were best friends.
We had known each other in primary but weren’t friends. In secondary school, it was different. Everyone was more open to making new friends and we happened to talk to each other. We’d walk to school together, we’d stay together all the time. It was just the two of us.
One day, we got to school and whilst waiting for the bell to ring, she noticed a herd of girls surrounded around one girl. Supposedly, she was the most popular one in school. And the ones around her were her crew. My friend, (let’s name her BFF to make things easier) went up the the popular girl’s crew ( we’ll name her Top Girl). My BFF went to the Top Girl and asked her if she could be friends with her. Baring in mind that she had left me standing by myself. Yeah, I totally get she wanted to make new friends but a true friend would take their best friend with them.
I was standing by myself for about 10 minutes and she came running back, all excited and happy. She told me that Top Girl had said they could be friends and told me to come and join them. She told me to do what she did and ask Top Girl to join in their crew. Very foolishly, I did just that. I wasn’t willing to do it, I even told her to just introduce me to her new friends and that would be fine, but she insisted.
So I asked and, with the fakest smile I have ever seen, she nodded and said “Sure”. I noticed that she laughed a lot. Even at things that weren’t funny.
Anyway, fast forward to a few months later. We had all started to hang out together and shared most of our things with each other. They weren’t a bad crew, to be honest, but later you’ll find out how poisonous each of their smiles were. Somehow, my BFF felt the need to please Top Girl and the crew. It was like Top Girl was controlling my BFF and it felt really weird. It wasn’t friendship anymore. It came to a point where my BFF was ready to give me up as a best friend just to stay friends with her. After all those promises of “I’ll always be here for you”, “You’re my bestest friend, I love you”, “Best friends forever” etc. You see, forever wasn’t a very long time.
I can’t even remember what it was about but Top Girl got upset with my BFF. The three of us were walking through the corridor and I remember the feeling like it were yesterday. My BFF blamed me to get out of the mess herself and left me speechless.
Fast forward again, I am no longer friends with them. Slowly, my BFF had some sort of disagreement with the crew and after some arguing left them too. She came back to me and once again, we were friends. This was my second mistake.
Fast forward to the end of the year and now we have been friends for a while, when another girl (also from our primary, and we name her The Third Wheel) joined with me and my BFF. She had had an argument with her friends and needed someone to hang out with. Me and my BFF welcomed her open-heartedly. She made me pay a good price for my third mistake. She basically did what her name suggests. She was the third wheel in our friendship and didn’t understand us. She made me look very bad in the eyes of my BFF and gossiped about me behind my back. It came to the point when my BFF didn’t want to be my BFF anymore. I was very hurt that she had done the same thing to me yet again, but I didn’t hold a grudge with either of them. I let them be and found my own friends.
A lot of similar things have happened to me which made me lose my ability to trust. And I’m sure they happen to a lot of people out there.
I didn’t share this story with you for attention and sympathy. I shared with you for a reason. The moral of the story is-
1) If you want to be a friend, be a loyal one. Loyalty is royalty. Those kind of friends are the best.
2) Don’t spend your time trying to please others. If you are always trying to please your friends, how can you ever have fun and be yourself? You are not you, and if you are you and you’re “friends” don’t like it, they’re not your friends.
3) Time goes fast. All this happened in just one year, and imagine if this friendship drama happens every year… Oh my. One day it hurts, the next it heals. Accept that every person goes through pain and happiness. They both come and go.
You begin to realise that people are in your life to make it better, and if they don’t do that and they bring you down, it’s okay to cut them out.
It was always between you and God. It was never between you and them. Remember that.